Are you attending a funeral? Here’s a quick guide to the customs and what you must prepare.
If you have attended a funeral in Singapore, you know it is a sombre and meaningful event. Saying goodbye to loved ones is never easy, but it can also be a time to honour and remember their positive impact on the world. Singapore's diverse society allows us to appreciate the importance of funeral rituals and traditions from different cultures and beliefs, some of which are very moving.
There is a Teochew ritual called "si sheng" that is very heartwarming. It involves an act of feeding performed by the bereaved children and eldest grandson as a show of filial piety and gratitude. Rice and dried tofu are dipped in brown sugar and placed on the deceased's lip. The children then call out the departed's name before reciting a phrase in Teochew, which loosely translates to, "You have brought me up, and now I will feed you in your old age."
Common funeral rituals in Singapore
1. Buddhist funerals
In Singapore, Buddhist monks conduct Buddhist funerals. They chant Buddhist sutras, lead the family in prayers, and organise the necessary food and fruit offerings. Chanting sessions take place on the first day, the last night of the wake, and on the funeral day itself. These sessions help the departed gain enlightenment and remove any bad karma from the past.
Family members provide breakfast and dinner for the departed. They also light and offer incense sticks to honour the deceased and invite them to partake in the meal. On the funeral day, a monk leads the ceremony, reciting sutras and making offerings before the family proceeds to the burial grounds or cremation hall.
What to wear: Please dress in conservative, muted colours, and avoid wearing bright shades and red.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
2. Muslim funerals
When a person of the Islamic faith passes away, they are usually brought home and buried within 24 hours for sanitary purposes, following Sharia law. The body is washed and wrapped in white cloth by select family members, usually those of the same gender as the deceased. An Imam carries out prayers at the home or mosque before the deceased is placed in a coffin and taken to a Muslim cemetery in Singapore for burial. It's important to note that cremation is strictly forbidden in Islam.
If you are not a Muslim, please wait outside the home during the prayers and rituals. There is a three-day mourning period after the death, during which friends and family can visit the bereaved to offer their condolences.
What to wear: Dress modestly by wearing attire that covers your arms and legs, and consider wearing a headscarf if you're a woman.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
3. Christian funerals
Christian funerals typically focus on remembering the deceased and celebrating their life. It is believed that the deceased will go to heaven to be in the loving presence of the Lord. At wakes, family, friends, and fellow church members gather in small groups for hymns and prayers. Hugs, handshakes, and words of comfort are commonly exchanged. A funeral service is usually conducted at the site of the wake by a pastor or church minister. This includes worship, prayer, scripture reading, a sermon, and a eulogy.
What to wear: Please remember to dress conservatively in muted colours such as white, grey, navy blue, or black.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you. You can also consider sending condolence wreaths or mourning flowers like lilies, carnations and chrysanthemums.
4. Catholic funerals
Catholic funerals are similar to Christian funerals, as friends and family gather for prayers, hymns, and eulogies. However, there is a stronger focus on rituals, as Catholics believe that the soul of the departed goes to heaven, hell, or purgatory based on their actions in life. A prayer vigil, known as the Reception of the Body, is held at the wake site or church. A priest or a layperson can conduct this ceremony if a priest isn't available.
On the day of the funeral, the casket is blessed with holy water, and scriptures from the Old Testament and a passage from the Book of Psalms are read. The priest will also conduct a commendation prayer to entrust the deceased's soul into the Lord's arms. Holy Communion, a ritual commemorating Jesus’ Last Supper with his disciples, is carried out. Additionally, incense and holy water bless the casket before it leaves the church.
What to wear: Please remember to dress conservatively in muted colours such as white, grey, navy blue, or black.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you. You can also consider sending condolence wreaths or mourning flowers like lilies, carnations and chrysanthemums.
5. Taoist funerals
Different dialect groups within the Taoist community have specific funeral rituals, but the underlying focus is always on honouring and respecting one's ancestors. Religious leaders assist the grieving family with these rituals, which can be pretty intricate. They may involve ceremonial cleansing to release the soul from earthly ties and the burning of symbolic items or recitations to facilitate the deceased's transition to the afterlife. In some cases, families may opt for a simpler Buddhist funeral instead.
What to wear: Please dress in muted colours and avoid bright shades, as well as the colour red.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
6. Hindu funerals
In Hindu tradition, the body of the deceased is embalmed and remains at home for two or three days before the funeral. A lamp is placed near the head of the body to guide the soul to reincarnation. A priest conducts the proceedings, reciting hymns and mantras and offering to deities or ancestors. There is typically an open casket for family members to pay their respects before the body is cremated.
On the day of the cremation, the body is brought to a common area where family and friends can come to see the departed. After the cremation, the deceased's ashes are scattered in a sacred body of water or at a place that may have been important to them.
What to wear: "White clothing is allowed, and it's better to avoid wearing black."
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family, although this isn’t compulsory. You may also gift a sympathy basket of fruits.
7. Soka Gakkai funerals
The Doshi, a Singapore Soka Association (SSA) leader, typically conducts a Soka Gakkai funeral service. During the wake, attendees perform a ritual called gongyo, where they recite the words "nam myoho renge kyo," which means to devote one's life to the law. They also read from portions of the Lotus Sutra, a sacred Buddhist scripture, before a Gohonzon, a religious object that can come as a scroll or statue. This is intended to evoke sympathy for the deceased. The Doshi holds a short prayer session at the burial grounds or cremation hall on the funeral day.
What to wear: Please dress conservatively in muted colours, and avoid bright shades and the colour red.
What to bring: You may bring some money in an envelope for the family. The amount to include is up to you.
Attending a funeral can be a profoundly emotional experience for all involved. Your presence at the service can provide solace and support to the deceased's friends and family members as they navigate through their grief and loss. Your compassion and solidarity during this difficult time can be a source of strength for those who are mourning.
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